I write because…

… it helps me process my thoughts and helps me put things into perspective.

It helps me process what is going on in my head. Sometimes there are thoughts in there i don’t know how to put into words or actions until i have written it down.

Have you ever had the experience of speaking to someone and you mess up your words by switching the first letters of 2 word’s or stammering so much you just give up or you get frustrated with yourself because you cannot express what you mean? What about starting a conversation halfway through a sentence or 10 minutes later after something has been said give a reply, by this time the person has moved onto another subject and just looks at you confused.

A couple of years ago this was not a problem for me. I was that kid with a witty comeback, or always had a rebuttal ready and waiting. Nowadays i struggle to reply to simple questions. it isn’t just with new people, it’s colleagues, my boyfriend, friends, family, everyone and anyone.

Because of this i hate answering the phone, I cringe every time i hear the phone ring. The worst part about my job is that it is customer based so i have to speak to people all day, every day.

People have a lot of theories as to why i am like this, the most common ones are stress and self-esteem. According to my doctor it is something called generalised anxiety disorder.

Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom – Soren Kierkegaard


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